Linking up with Emily Freeman on Chatting at the Sky…

My letter to my teenage self:

Dear me,

More than anything, I want you to know that everything is going to be alright.  God heard everyone of your prayers.  Every one.

Take writing more seriously.  Journal more.  I know you like to journal but your attitude about them is that they are unimportant.  Especially when you threw them all away in hopes you could bury and forget them.  What you would do to have those journals now, 25 years later.

Stop numbing yourself.  When you numb the bad things, you also numb the good things.

When your grandmother asks you to go on a cross country trip on a train, GO!  This will be one of your biggest regrets later.  In fact, you will miss her immensely as an adult.  Although she is hard and prickly on the outside, she was really an old softy underneath.  You learn a love of the theater from her and it greatly enriches your world.  Play more rummy with her.

Really listen to and read the lyrics of the songs you sing and go see performed at the Charlotte Coliseum.  No one will ever tell you to do this.  Some of them are really terrible.  Save your Steve Miller Band greatest hits album to show your kids.  And maybe a Pink Floyd album too.  It makes a great music appreciation talk.

Spend more quality time with your mom.  She leaves this world when you are still young.  Your best memories of her will be when you went yard saling together.  I know it was really hard, but you won’t regret taking care of her.  In fact, I am really proud of what you did, you sacrificed much.

You don’t have a whole lot of time left with your dad either.  Make a huge effort to get to know him sooner than when you are to be married.  He doesn’t know how to make this effort and even though you don’t either, it will give you more time to get to know him.  I realize it doesn’t seem like it, but he loves you.  Ask him to teach you to scuba dive.  Your best memories of him will be when he took you snorkeling.

Read something besides Stephen King.  There are some really awesome books out there.

You will be glad you didn’t lose touch with your best friend from Miami that you met in pre-school.

When your brother moves to Lake Tahoe, go and visit him, even if you don’t have anymore paid vacation.

And finally, I am sorry I talked you into a Bachelor of Science in Business Administration with a concentration in Marketing and Management when what you really wanted to do was teach and write and help people.  My advice to you is to not make decisions in your future based on fears; real or otherwise.  However, you’ll have many skills in business that will help you out in the Family Manager and Homeschool teacher position you end up taking full time. Who knew?

Don’t let that freak you out.  I know you are on a passionate drive to find a job in the business world, but this won’t be where your heart is.  The bad experiences from the school busing experiment in Jr high and High school will spur you on to do great things with your kids.  As a side note, don’t make fun of homeschoolers in your 20’s.

Yep, you marry him.

Rethink the bridesmaid dresses.

And mostly, just know that being you is enough.  Imperfections and vulnerabilities and all of it. Own who you are even when you don’t like her very much.  Learn early how to live fully in the moment and how to show up in life.  Fall in love with something at least once a day.

I love you to the moon.

The older Me.

Share?  I would love to hear your letter to your teenage self.  Who knew this was going to be cathartic?!?!?

Oh, and Read Emily’s Book, Graceful.