I have been stuck in a place lately where I find myself dreading and worrying about the things I have to do. Things I created, prayed for, and even planned.
I have planned to go on a small camping trip with my 8yo and have felt a dread about it. Not because I don’t want to, because the truth is, I do. Basically, because I am tired. And the litany of things to do feels like a huge blanket of weight.
But what really struck my attitude was reading the Letter to Brittany by Kara Tippets.
I know it was a whisper from God. (and an answer from a recent prayer)
It occurred to me, that I GET TO, not I have to. I get to write a book. I get to be a mom of 3 beautiful girls. I get to help my daughter plan for college.
It is really about a perspective, one of gratitude, that I have missed. In embracing moments, the small moments, I become intentional.
“These are not moments to get through but moments to be cherished.” Kara Tippetts
When I focus on the now, all the other stuff that clouds my thinking is put into perspective. It allows me to live intentionally. And not be blown and tossed about by the wind and worries. Even though I know this truth, I lose sight of it in the muddle of the messy, and I lose my focus.
If I were given months to live, you know what I would want to do?
Go camping with my 8 year old.
I want to be here.
This is a gift.
It is the apprehension and fear from other stuff looming large in the corners of my life that seems to bundle everything together in a cloud of familiar dread…Fear of change, fear of putting myself out there, worry about all that it not in my control. It is also my expectations, sometimes unrealistic, about how things should turn out.
So, I am allowing myself to be excited that I get to go camp with my beautiful 8 year old. Sleeping sticky from smores, being cold, losing winks, and all!
Kara says, “…It [cancer] has caused us to look for love. And to embrace each moment with our children in intentional living.”
Let us not wait for a diagnosis to live intentionally.
Seizing the day in North Carolina.
How are you seizing the day with your kids?